Credits: TORONTO SUN
According to a recent study commissioned by condom giants Durex, a shocking 40% of men said that they would turn down sex in order to watch soccer. The top excuses provided by men included 'I've got a bad back' or 'I'm too tired', with 'I've got a headache' and 'I've been working late' rounding out the top five.
The poll which surveyed over 2,000 men is part of Durex's #DontFakeIt campaign, a marketing initiative designed to highlight the impact a summer of soccer will have on people's love lives.
As a spokesperson for Durex explains, "There is a well-worn stereotype of women making excuses to avoid sex but it seems that when the football is on, the tables are turned."
Indeed they are. The study also revealed that over one quarter of men have thought about soccer while being intimate with their partner and a whopping 42% admit to wanting to get sex over with quickly, so that they can get back to watching the game.
However, don't despair, ladies! More than a third (37%) say they would accept their partner's offer of sex - if they could still have the TV on to keep an eye on the pitch-side action at the same time.
When I first discovered these statistics, my initial reaction involved an eye-roll for the centuries and shaking my first at the sky, shouting, "What is wrong with men? How could they possibly choose a bunch of sweaty guys on TV over a real, live woman in their bed?"
However, when you think about it, sex and soccer actually have a lot in common: the passion, the excitement, the performance and players who are quite obviously faking it.
Although the World Cup games definitely have a performative aspect to them, what with the acrobatic dives and dramatic feigning of injuries, 70% of the men surveyed said that it's just as bad to fake it on the pitch as it is to fake it in the bedroom - proof that many men take the game as seriously as their sex lives.
As a spokesperson for Durex is clear to point out, "Excitement levels for football fans across the globe are reaching fever pitch and for some, the passion they feel for the beautiful game is on a par with, if not greater than, that for their partner...But they need to ensure that once those 90 minutes are up, all attention is redirected solely to their loved one... otherwise there may be penalties!"
To combat this soccer imposed sexual drought, I've come up with plan. Just like how my grandpa used to trap the gophers that were destroying his garden, I'm going to lure my guy into an enclosed space (the bedroom will work just fine) with the promise of satellite TV and beer, only to pull the plug at the last minute. It will be the ultimate bait and switch. Or, maybe not.
Ladies, we might just have to wait this one out.