A protester sits as police walk through St. James park after they moved in to evict protesters during the "Occupy Toronto" movement in Toronto November 23, 2011.
Credits: REUTERS/MARK BLINCH
Take your pick.
One or all of the above summarizes the achievements of the Occupy movement that last year stumbled into the media spotlight, rubbed the sleep from its eyes and then mumbled from beneath an Abercrombie hoodie: "Whaddup?"
Then it flopped onto whatever piece of open space it could commandeer from somebody else and proceeded to sulk. Big time.
Occupy didn't so much say it was going to hold its breath until it turned blue, but there was some foot stomping and more than a few sourpuss stares.
What did it want? Depended on whom you asked.
When did it want it? Well, like, right now ... or anytime soon. Not sure. Well, like, you know ... um... we have to have a meeting about that and get back to you.
Such was the confusion around the Occupy movement, and such is the lack of interest today in what it achieved, we can only ask ourselves: does anyone really care?
Oh sure, there were some certainties involved. We do know it started when the brave apostles of Occupy Wall Street took to the streets in the New York financial district and promptly sat down.
Yeah, that showed capitalism, didn't it.
That single act of considered inertia spawned a global following of people sitting down and looking kinda thoughtful and angry and all 99% alienated from the 1% they said controlled the world's economy.
In Toronto, Occupiers walked into St. James Park and did some first-class sitting and moody introspection of their own. A few times they even shrugged off their existential ennui and marched to Bay St. to shout slogans at office towers.
Mostly they sat around. Slept in tents. Whatever.
One night they were sufficiently roused to march down King St. E. to the doors of this august publication to ... gosh, I can't remember why, but we ordered in pizza on the City Desk and it was fun.
Then the Occupy Toronto people went away. Just like that.
Now it's all just a memory.
For those of earnest political convictions, it was a chance to wear a Che Guevara T-shirt, raise a clenched fist and call for the downfall of capitalism.
Occupy also drew attention to the fact Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, when he wasn't bayoneting seniors and eating babies, was the personification of evil along with George W Bush, Tony Blair and all the other war mongers who sent troops into either Iraq or Afghanistan or both.
There was even an Occupy Sea World group in the U.S. They were really, really angry about the fish forced 1/3 yes forced I tell you 1/3 to serve capitalism's dark satanic purposes by swimming in an enclosed area and entertaining visitors.
This was the mission statement on the Occupy Sea World Facebook page:
"A page dedicated to exposing the corporate greed, whale laundering and cetacean exploitation within marine parks, an industry that operates under a facade of education and awareness."
Take that, sushi fanciers and whale launderers.
Perhaps it's indicative of just what undermined the Occupy movement as a whole. It didn't stand for anything and when you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything.
Occupiers came across as a group of attention-seeking complainers angry that life didn't turn out like their grade school teacher promised, when he or she said we can all be whatever we want in life if we just tried hard and ate our vegetables.
Yes, we can all be astronauts, brain surgeons, NASCAR drivers, supermodels, concert pianists or really, really rich if we want to. Maybe all at the same time.
We just have to believe it and it will happen.
Or not. As children find out when they become adults.
Still, underachieving Occupiers everywhere, for all their infantilized disdain for pretty much everything around them, could do worse than realize life is what you make it.
They can take heed of George Bernard Shaw who wrote: "Life wasn't meant to be easy, my child, but take courage: it can be delightful!"