Straight Talk
ANTHONY FUREY - Sorry, but I’ve had it: The unforgivable insistence on apologies has become too much

Patrick Brazeau and Theresa Spence

Credits: (REUTERS/Chris Wattie/Andre Forget/QMI Agency)

ANTHONY FUREY | QMI AGENCY

The apology industry crybabies out there have kicked into high gear recently. I’m referring to the self-righteous crowd who get a rise out of piling on people to apologize for a non-story they’ve determined is a societal wrong.

The most recent is

Sen. Patrick Brazeau’s comments at a fundraiser Tuesday evening. He made fun of Chief Theresa Spence, saying despite going on a “so-called hunger strike” she seems to be even fatter.

Why apologize? The senator was just tapping into what many Canadians were thinking.

Last Saturday in Toronto, people held a “cowboys and Indians” themed party at a bar. Some pedantic bores heard about it on Twitter and decided to visit the party to lecture partiers about their ignorance-fuelled racism.

If the worst racism out there is people at a party dressed like they’re in a western, then life is pretty good.

After the Newtown shootings people got ridiculous.

Lady Gaga was labelled “insensitive” and chastised for wearing a bra with replica rifles attached — at a concert a month after the shootings. Gaga does outrageous things. Get over it.

A few days after the shooting, radio stations pulled Ke$ha’s song “Die Young,” which was released in September. The main refrain is “Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young.” It’s a catchy tune. The singer for some reason pre-empted people’s cries and apologized for the song but then deleted her online apology. Childish debate ensued.

The sports community is not immune to the apology industry, either. Which is a shame. You’d think that would be the last refuge of manly common sense.

Feigned outrage was on full display during the Lance Armstrong debacle. How dare he?! We all deserve an apology! Really? Why? So the dude cheated ... Who the hell cares? Cycling isn’t even a real sport anyway. It’s like the Olympics or the World Cup — people only pay attention to it the week it’s actually happening. And, honestly, did anyone out there actually think they were changing the world by wearing half a dozen of those cheesy plastic bracelets?

Then there’s this Manti Te’o thing. Who no one had heard of prior to this “scandal.” That somehow his fans or the football community are owed something. I guess he does owe fans an apology for actually considering someone he’s never met in person his girlfriend.

Then there are Super Bowl ads.

A VW ad has a white guy speaking Don’t Worry, Be Happy-style lines in a Jamaican accent. Cue over-the-top cries of racism — from everyone except Jamaica’s minister of tourism. He likes it!

Then there’s the Taco Bell ad that says bringing veggies to a Super Bowl party is “a cop-out and secretly people hate you for it.” Pro-vegetarian lobby groups (yes, people actually spend their time doing this) made a scene about it. Taco Bell pulled the ad. Yet we all know the line is completely correct. No one wants to be “that guy.”

Ultimately, the only ones who owe anyone an apology are the whiny brats who join these pile-ons. Your family and friends have to listen to your blatherings. The broader public has to see your social media statements. Just leave us alone.

Besides — if you’re going berserk over these things, what are you going to do when a real problem actually strikes? The ongoing infantilizing of society never ends.

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